Where does the time go?!

It is UNREAL how fast time seems to fly by sometimes. Growing up, a week seemed like an ETERNITY...and a year, well, no point in even trying to comprehend that. And it's one of those things I guess I've always heard, that time flies by faster the older you get, which makes sense. But I can hear cute little old ladies now, "My, how fast you are growing up!" and it always, and I mean ALWAYS got on my nerves; I dreamed of - but never dared to - responding with a, "What did you expect me to do?".

But here I am. Call me an old lady. But my boys are growing up SO fast! Will turned 6 months old on Wednesday. And I feel like I've totally missed all 6 months of it, even though I've had a front row seat for it. It feels like it was just yesterday he looked like that precious baby to the left. So, I am vowing now to be more intentional every day to soak up his precious little personality, to remember (and take more pictures!) of his perfect little round cheeks and sparkly eyes that are a part of his continuous smile, and to savor his sweet, easy laugh; to not wish away those wee morning hours of falling

asleep with him in my arms in the rocking chair (again); and to perhaps dream less of his independence and mobility (this whole "put-him-down-and-he-stays-where-you-put-him" thing definitely has its benefits). Before I know it, he, too, will be asking if it's Thursday yet(because in Jack's mind, that's the one day that he goes to school), saying, "Let ME do it," and taking off with his besties Leland and Livi (his 2 best new friends who were born this past month!) as soon as we hit the church door, like Jack loves to do with Cameran and Jaylen.

And while he's a *little* irritable with teething (still waiting on the first one, but we're hopeful), and frustrated when he's sitting up but has a hard time remembering how to stay that

way, I remind myself that this, too, shall pass. And quite honestly, I wouldn't trade a day of it for anything.

For the records...and a confession of sorts

When Will was a newborn, he sounded like a pterodactyl (according to J, anyway...I personally have no history of hearing or knowing what one sounds like). Anyway, I called him my "squeaky Will" because, well, he was squeaky. He never cried(still doesn't much), but just made precious little noises all the time. So much so, in fact, he squeaked his way out of the bassinet in our room into his nursery within just a couple of weeks of moving in.

Around the same time, I noticed that at night I could hear Jack on the baby monitor in his room making an awful, shrill noise. However, (like at the end of most days) I was just glad he was in his bed, in his room and not causing too big of a disruption, so I didn't stop him. Also at the same time, we were starting our "Growing Kids God's Way" small group and were learning about getting obedience "right away, all the way, happy way"...zero tolerance for the breaking of established rules, with the immediate consequence of a spanking. One of our said established rules was NO loud noises in the car (we had gone so far as to talk about how it could make mommy and/or daddy hurt us in the car and maybe even hurt other cars if Jack scared us while we were driving). Well, about a week after the shrill bedtime noises had started, Jack let one rip while we were flying down 280 from TigerTown. It scared the mess out of me, and since it was definitely a violation of our rules, I pulled over as fast as I could to spank his little leg and talk to him about why we don't make noises like that in the car (and preferably not anywhere!). As soon as I finished my diatribe, I pulled back on the road, satisfied that I had brought Jack into submission and that he had hopefully learned his lesson...and I also noticed that he was very quiet in the backseat. Then after a couple of minutes I heard a soft whisper coming from the backseat, and my precious toddler offered up this explanation in his sweet little voice for his misbehavior, "Squeaky Jack."

And that's how this unperceptive mommy lost her nomination for Mom of the Year, and "Jumpin' Jack" got HIS edifying nickname (that, and the fact that 97.7% of the time he's jumping).

What next...or for that matter, what now?

A few years ago (actually, since it was pre-kids, it feels more like a lifetime ago), Jason and I had the opportunity to go to the Passion C0nference. For all of you traditionalists and/or non-church-goers out there, it is an INCREDIBLE 4-day worship experience for college students, their leaders (or, in our case, 20-somethings) desperately seeking an awesome encounter with our Creator. The country's (well, actually, the world's) top Christian musicians and speakers come together to help shape the next generation of believers into people who are passionately desiring to follow God in ALL that they (we) do.

Since at that time I was a youth minister, we were put into the small group for youth and college leaders (and by "small" group, I mean the 1000+ "grown-ups" who were there). Our leader was a short little Asian man named Francis Chan; not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed that we didn't have Louie Giglio or Chris Tomlin or one of the other "big" names leading us. However, within just a few minutes of Chan speaking, I couldn't have been more thankful for his leadership. He is a man who has been challenged (and is thus challenging) people to take God and His Word literally.

Well, since then, he's written 2 books...do yourself a favor and pick at least one of them up. I read "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a relentless God" when it came out a couple of years ago and had just started re-reading it when Jason gave me his newest book, "Forgotten God: Reversing our tragic neglect of the Holy Spirit." I just finished it a couple of days ago, and let me tell you, I can't get past it. There are a couple of paragraphs that are haunting me, and I'm still trying to figure out what to do with them. Here they are...

"I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit. I want people to look at my life and know that I couldn't be doing this by my own power. I want to live in such a way that I am desperate for Him to come through. That if He doesn't come through, I am screwed. (I probably shouldn't write that word here, but it's how I truly feel about this." (p. 142)

[I love his apology there at the end...that's for you, Mom and Pud. :)]

And the other is this:

"No matter where you live and what your days look like, you have the choice each day to depend on yourself, to live safely, and to try to control your life. Or you can live as you were created to live - as a temple of the Holy Spirit of God, as a person dependent on Him, desperate for God the Spirit to show up and make a difference. When you begin living a life characterized by walking with the Spirit, that is when people will begin to look not to you but to our Father in heaven and give Him the praise." (p. 156)

So there. I'm definitely still unpacking all this. I mean, bottom line, I'm still just a mom at home with 2 babies everyday. But the more I think and pray on this, I think there is so much more to LIFE than my perspective is able to allow me to grasp. However, I know that I am right where I need to be right now. I know that God has put certain people in my life that are needing Him, and therefore needing me in order to get them to Him. The verse Matthew 25:23 has been coming to mind a lot lately..."Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your Master's happiness." I might not be called to lead large groups of people (i.e. a youth group) right now, but I know that by making a difference NOW with the few that I have around me, God is being honored...but I'm almost scared to ask Him what more I/we can be doing.

Another thing learned from Chan's book: it is worthless to try to figure out what it might be/supposed to be like 5 years down the road, but I'm trusting Him to get me/us right to where we're needed most. And I'm so thankful for my church family, friends and family that are here to help shape and guide us on the journey. My prayer is that J and I are walking so closely with God that we will KNOW when we are being directed as He wills it.

And in separate news, Jack saw his swimsuit out and said, "Hey! That's Jack's swimmin' poot." I'm still debating whether or not to correct him...it's pretty stinkin' cute.

BREAK!

So, HUUUUGE shout-out to Mom and Poppa J for allowing me (and I guess Jason - but I think he sleep most nights anyway) to catch up on some MUCH needed sleep last night...with an added bonus of getting to go to small group last night without having to rush home to pay a sitter. And not only did we have a great time hanging out with everybody last night until after 11, but I got to spend my afternoon doing very grown-up, single lady-type stuff like getting a pedicure and going shopping. All that, thrown in with a jog with J this morning + breakfast at Byron's before going to get the boys = new lease on life. I might even finish about 7 curtain panels today! (14 down, "only" 37 to go! But I promise, I'm getting my system down and it's going MUCH faster. I should have them done by Christmas. Just kidding. Easter.)

So, a couple of days ago Jack came up with a new nickname for Will. Not only am I at a loss as to where he learned the word, but I am not very fond of it and I find that it is somewhat offensive. Actually, I can practically hear my Mom saying now, "What would Pud say?!" (Pud, being my grandmother who is the epitome of Southern grace and style, is and will eternally be our family's gold standard for decency). So anyway, the other day in the car, Will started fussing a little bit. Jack, being the doting big brother that he is, attempted to soothe him by saying, "It's okay, Boogers. It's going to be okay. Awww, Boogers, don't cry." WHAT?! Boogers? Seriously?! I've even been afraid to use the word when I'm "getting something out of his nose," for fear that it would appear in just such contexts! I'm hoping this, too, shall pass. It reminds me of when Jason was watching "Tommy Boy" several months ago. He laughed out loud and quoted the old lady in the movie by saying, "That's when the whores come in!". Well, Jack loved it...and walked around several days saying, "Horse comes in!!!". After several days of me saying, "We do NOT say that word in our house" did I finally understand his look of bewilderment. Glad 2-year olds forget things quickly.

On our way for me to take the boys to meet mom yesterday afternoon, Jack got in a battle with an old cell phone that my mom had given him. It's a flip phone that he occasionally asks to have charged. After he played with it for a few minutes, he had pushed all the right buttons to make it start saying, "Say a command." Jack, being the obedient little boy that he is (which is said a bit "tongue in cheek"), tells the phone, "A command." However, it didn't seem to satisfy the recording of the nice lady in the phone who was placing the request, so she says it again. So, again Jack replies, "A command." It turned into a yelling match. Jack lost.

Blog, take 2

Confession:

About 4 years ago, I tried blogging. And to spare myself the humility, I will not be sharing the link to it...I thought I knew what I wanted to "sound like," and in doing so, rambled incoherently for a few weeks before giving up on the thing all together (posing sure is exhausting).

But there are so many days that I realize that I have 2 precious, hilarious kids - and NO record with which to remind myself of the cuteness on the days that they are acting, well, slightly less than precious. And since Jason promised me that 20 years from now of COURSE blogs will still be available for our viewing pleasure, I decided this is a "safe" place to put it all.

And I have also realized that sometimes I have deeper thoughts that just need sharing (or venting)...and because Jack doesn't always have the proper responses to my theologizing and philosophizing, this seems like a good fit. So, in all my spare time as a SAHM(between bon-bons and sips of my martini, of course), I'll try to figure out how to put some of my musings and revelations into the bloggityblog for your entertainment.

However, right now two 2-year olds are trying their absolute hardest to fit a toy into every corner of living space in my house. Guess I better go help.